A story for a cranky little girl

Once upon a time there was a beautiful little girl who loved to run and play, sing and dance, color and paint, laugh and talk, twirl and whirl, and of course the little girl LOVED to hear stories. The little girl was always happy and smiling. She was always SO happy and smiling that all the people around her couldn't help but be happy and smiling too. 

The little girl had lots of friends that she loved to play with. One day the little girl got to go over to her friend's house for the afternoon. She was so excited and her friend was too! The little girl's friend couldn't wait to show her all of the wonderful things at her house. They went to the bedroom and turned on the t.v. There were so many shows to watch that the girls couldn't decide which one to watch first. So they closed their eyes and picked one. 

When the show was over they ran to the kitchen to find something to eat. There was ice cream waiting for them. Ice cream with lots of yummy chocolate poured on top. When they finished their bowls they left them on the table and went in search for the Halloween candy that was stashed in the closet. With their shirt fronts full of candy they went back to the bedroom to watch the next show. 

The candy was gone by the time the show was over. The girls then went into the family room and asked if they could play the video games. OF COURSE! So they played and played and played the video games. They started having a hard time getting along as the afternoon went on.

There were tears because one girl beat the other one.

There were tears because one girl laughed when the other fell down.

There were tears over which game to play.

There were tears over whose turn it was.

There were tears and tears and tears.

The mommy told the girls that it was time to find something else to play if they couldn't get along. So they stomped off to the kitchen to find something to eat. Chocolate Milk!! They poured chocolate syrup in their glasses until it was hard to tell which was the syrup and which was the milk. They decided to have a race to see who could drink their milk the fastest.

The little girl won and her friend burst into tears. The little girl got mad that her friend wasn't happy for her so she burst into tears and screamed, "I HATE YOU!!!".

There was a knock at the big front door. The little girl's mommy was here to take her home. The little girl threw herself down on the floor and started kicking and screaming. She didn't want to go home! She wanted to live with her friend and play video games and watch tv and eat ice cream and drink chocolate milk FOREVER.

Mommy could see that she'd had a very exciting day. Maybe a bit too exciting. She gathered up the little girl into her arms and carried her to the car. The little girl didn't want to go and she was screaming and crying the whole way there. Soon her mommy had her buckled into her seat with a blanket tucked around her. Mommy handed the little girl her unicorn and then shut the car door. 

As the car pulled away from the curb mommy started to sing. The little girl was still crying and she cried almost the whole way home. She was angry. She was tired. She was cranky. She was crabby. Her tummy hurt. Her shoes hurt. She hated her shirt. She didn't want to go home. She didn't want to laugh. She didn't want to sing. She didn't want to play or run. She didn't want to laugh and talk. She didn't want to twirl or whirl, and she definitely DID NOT want to hear stories!

Mommy carried her into the house and shut the door. Humming quietly, mommy set the little girl down in the bathroom and started warm water running into the tub. Mommy took off the little girl's clothes and placed her into the warm water.  The little girl watched the water running into the bath. She picked up the cup and started filling it with water. Mommy started washing her back with a soft cloth and some lavender soap. The small bathroom started to smell sweet and good. 

Soon the tub was filled up and the little girl played with her boat and cup while mommy washed the sink and rearranged the cabinets. Mommy got the little girl's warm jammies all ready for her and placed her special towel on the sink. The little girl stood up and pushed the plug over to let the water out. She giggled when it made it's funny sucking noise. She stepped out of the tub into the warm towel that mommy had waiting for her. She started chatting about her afternoon while mommy dried her off and helped her into her jammies. The little girl took her dirty clothes to the hamper by the washer. Then she came back and turned off the bathroom light. 

She went to sit on the couch with her mommy. She smiled at her mommy because now it was time to hear a story. But first mommy had a surprise for the little girl. Mommy had made her some oatmeal with butter, cream, and bit of maple syrup! She ate it all up and drank a tall glass of milk. Then she followed Mommy into the big bathroom where the special oil lives. Mommy put a drop behind both of the little girl's ears. She smelled so sweet and good. 

The little girl ran and got her blanket and unicorn. Then she ran to the couch and tucked her blanket all around her. Mommy sat next to her and cuddled her up close to tell a story.

The little girl couldn't wait to hear all about it.

The Epicenter

The Adventurer

I loved the ladders of these grain bins when I was a child. There was something so exciting about being "Up, UP, UP so high I could touch the sky". The backside of the roof was a favorite hiding place for hide and seek. These ladders were portals into rocket ships or castles.  An exciting tangible portion of our pretend play. They were also a link to an adult world that I wasn't allowed in. Sometimes I would pretend that I was working with the hired hands to fill the bins up with grain for the winter.  Little House on the Prairie provided a lot of inspiration for me.

They were so blissfully HIGH.

High is a world that children don't often get to visit. 

"Get down!! Be careful! You'll fall! Do you want to break your neck?! You gave me a fright! Are you trying to kill yourself?! Do you want to give me a heart attack?! GET DOWN!!!!!" 

Those are phrases I heard a lot as a child. :o) 

They're phrases that I've tried not to use unless they were absolutely needed. 

Testing the limits of their bodies and environment is the work of children. We are here to guide that testing so that they have a more experienced head than theirs as they make their choices. (For instance, I know that you can easily jump from the second rung of this ladder. You CAN jump from the third and it only hurts a little. But if you jump from the fourth rung your ankles hurt the rest of the day....which kinda ruins the fun. {and it lets the adults say "I told you so". also no fun)

We are the epicenter of their lives. They want us to be involved in everything they do. "Watch this."    "Come see!"  "Will you help me?" 

It can be frustrating sometimes to fulfill that need. A frustration that I constantly fight against because I know how important I am to them. I know that they need me. My energy, my guidance, is just as important as the food they eat and the air they breathe.

Children need us to be available. They need to be able to run up to us at any time during their day and borrow our calm. They need our reassurance that everything is safe. They need rhythm. They need our constancy.

Then they can run away again, as fast as their little feet will carry them to continue their explorations. When their port is compromised then they are uncertain. They become whiney. Clingy. They try to desperately grab what they need. They insist in ways that are so abrasive to us that we want to push them away and stuff them in a box (or turn on a show) just so they will leave us alone. (at least that's how I feel when my children are out of sorts) 

Shoving your children away when they need you never works out as well as we'd like.  They are genetically programed  experts at getting our attention. 

(Isn't survival an amazing thing?) 

My children just spent a few days in Oklahoma with my family. They LOVE it there. It's a circus full of ice cream EVERY day! Who wouldn't love it?

When they come back they are always sleep deprived, over sugared, over stimulated, and just plain worn out. It always takes a few days to even things back out. Yesterday evening Kiska started sobbing every time I took a step away from her. It had been a very long busy day for me and I was exhausted. I was NOT feeling much like giving her anything of myself. 

I honestly didn't think that I had that much to give. 

After 15 minutes of letting myself be INCREDIBLY annoyed by her behaviour I gave up and embraced her needs.

I held her while she finished her cry. Then I focused ALL of my attention on her. 

Her sweet little cheeks, the shape of her mouth, the twinkle of her eye, the way her hair fell into her eyes, the softness of her hands, the weight of her in my lap, her smell.

We sat and breathed together for a bit. 

Then I decided to get some lavender oil and give her a little massage.

I started to move her to the couch for a moment so I could get the oil and she wrapped her arms around my neck hard as she could and cried, "No Mommy!! It hurts me when you're away!!!"

I'm proud for her that she can articulate that. 

It was a shocking thought. Shocking in the intensity, and conviction. 

As much as my children need to roam. As much as they need to wander. As much as they need to explore. As much as they need adventure........

They need me to be there for them to come back to. Welcoming them home with open arms, and heart. Watching them from afar.  Reveling in their roamings, wanderings, explorations, and adventures.

How else can they go again?

Life, Love, and Woolie Tragedy

Kara loves her "new hat"

We have now managed to felt two pairs of ruskovilla wooly pants, one ruskovilla wool/silk shirt, and this gnome hat.

The woolies were bad enough, but I seriously almost cried when this hat came out of the washer.

I spent 17 hours making this hat!

It survived almost 3 years in this household...which is like saying a person lived to be 147.

I'm trying to work up the gumption to cast on hats for the littles. But first I have to get the sweater that I've been working on for over a year OFF MY NEEDLES. 

This should have been a 12-14 hour knit.

I have been on a sad craft free spree lately. 

It's amazing how much energy comes from creating. It can absolutely power an entire day. Seeing your children living in clothing that you've made with your own hands out of a ball of string is such a boost that it just help keep you going. It allows you to see promise everywhere you look.

It's amazing how much energy it takes to create. When something happens that knocks you out of that cycle of "Yay! look what I made!.....Yay! I'm gonna make some more!" it's seems impossible to get back into it.

But I'm all about the impossible. ;o)

4oz of yarn that took me 50 years to get off my wheel.

By September of last year I was completely useless. The relentless heat was a nightmare.  I was watching my dream go up in flames as if it were the bone dry Texas countryside ignited by a careless spark. That tossed me into a deep depression that I'm only just now pulling out of. 

I am working on accepting that this summer may very well be the same as the last. 

I'm hoping that if it is, it doesn't affect me in such an extreme way.

I'm trying to find my way back to the things I love.

I'm not worried though.


Because I know that when you Work, Try, Accept, and above all Hope....then you're already living the dream even if it doesn't always feel like it.


Am I thrilled that Kara has a new hat? 
No, but the children are.

Happy Creating!!


 

Busy Mornings

Hurry!! Hurry!!!

Come ON, MAMA!!!

I can get it!

Told ya!

I can pour it.....it's not too much!

Boots LOVES me, 'cause I feed her!!

Yes she does, sugar bear.....and so do I. :o)

A Thanksgiving Tradition

The Blessing Tree

We've always spent the days leading up to thanksgiving talking about what we're thankful for. This year when I found these leaf cut outs at the craft store I decided it would be fun to make a tree to keep our blessings on so the littles would have a visual of how many things we had to be thankful for. 

Some of the things we were thankful for were.........chickens, goats, books, God, Jesus, Church, everybody, houses, vegetables, flowers, microsoft, computers, homeschooling, learning something new, family, this meal, Ronan, Kiska, Tyler, Auri, Mom, Daddy, doctors.

I especially enjoyed Tyler starting off the "grateful for each other days". We had a bad scare with Ronan. He had a seizure in the middle of the night and the next night Tyler said he was grateful for his brother Ronan. Before that Tyler had been grateful for lots of selfish young teen things and was driving me nuts with his answers. Halo, tv, pop music, the color black...things like that. I was encouraged to see that he COULD be mature and caring when there was something important. 

He's a good kid. He just makes me crazy....although I hear that most 13 year old boys make their parents crazy. :o)

We weren't as faithful with it as I'd have liked. The children spent a lot of time visiting friends or we would be running late for bed. (This was during our foray into the private school life. All we did was rush around...at least it felt like it.) But it was a good start. We enjoyed doing it and I know it will be something we keep.

I had already started removing things when I took these pictures, so the tree is a little bare. We're also missing the pumpkins that I had placed at the base of the tree with our family names written on them. 

I believe the total cost for our project was around $12. Well worth it. :o)

Hopefully I'll get better at making trees as the years go on.

But my children didn't care. They LOVED it!

 

October Pond Wanderings

In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks. 

John Muir

September

Tyler working the Kell House Museum.

September was a crazy month for us. We started our school work and had tons and tons of activities we were driving to every day. I got burnt out very very very quickly.

Tyler at one of his football games.

I was driving Tyler into town every day for practices and having to hang around for a couple of hours. That in addition to all of the other things we were doing made me make one of the stupidest decisions of my life.

Ronan at his first football game.

I decided that I could serve my children better if I put them in school. I thought that the school would provide them with all of the activities that I was driving us to all the time. And I thought that the babies wouldn't be in the car as much. I was seduced by the idea of a clean house and some free time. I imagined that my children would lose nothing and gain much. 

So I spent a couple of weeks getting them accepted to the local Catholic school. I imagined that the school would be able to provide them with the same traditions that we worked so hard to hold at home. I was delighted with the focus on faith. It all sounded so good!

Then we started school and I was disillusioned very quickly. Our family dynamic changed so completely that I didn't even feel like a family anymore. 

The school became my children's family.....and I was just the person who got them dressed and carted them there.

We had lots of other problems that I could have never imagined we would encounter. Things like my four year old getting kicked out for her inappropriate use of imagination.

We were turned into CPS for the aforementioned use of imagination. (That was scary, but the worker declared the accusation unfounded. Turns out she's not the first four year old to say her big brother is mean to her.....who knew?!)

We were having to argue with my oldest about his school work for the same amount of time when we were homeschooling...making me wonder what we were spending our money for.

But worst of all was that my children no longer had time for their passions. 

Auriana didn't draw anymore.

The children didn't make plays.

The olders no longer read books to the youngers.

None of them cared anything about the stories that we loved.

It was like someone had stolen my children. 

Or at least stolen their LIGHT.

I only managed a month of them being away before I brought them back home. I learned a lot of lessons, and I feel more secure in my homeschooling than I've ever felt.

And that makes the decision worth it. :o)

Auriana cheering at her football game.

We loved football season, but we didn't have time for it once we started school. Next year we won't have to compromise. :o)